Photo Memories

Recently I started out doing freelancing on wedding montage. I was kind to receive a few deals from the circle of friends I knew. Most probably as a fresh entry, my rate was one of the lowest you can find in Singapore.

The package that I’m offering is ridiculous. Yeah, if I would to do this full time I might as well go work in some fast-food joint serving burgers.

Anyway I met my first client not long ago.

Of all the clients that I had, they were probably the ones whom I was a complete stranger to.

The rest I will would know either one of them.

(Nope... to be technically true, I only know all the brides-to-be on my client list… how come???)

We had a short discussion about how the two of them met and how their love story begins. The bride-to-be eagerly presented her side of the story and the groom-to-be was there trying to correct or edit her story. Who says guys don’t remember anything in a relationship?

As I slowly sip my coffee and listen to them, you could see the looks on their face as they had a light hearted argument over what the guy did when he wanted to know her. It is great to think back the happier days.

When the story was finished, I requested them to pass me their childhood photos. I offered to scan for them since its part of the value-added services I provide.

I was quite surprised by both of them reaction as they each took out a large photo album that contains all the memories since young.

“Hey this is me when I’m young”

The bride-to-be exclaimed when she showed me one of her baby photos.

“Wah, I still remember this time when I had this camp”

The groom-to-be sounded like he was talking to himself.

All of us had a good laugh on how vintage the photos had become.

Some had turned brown and each photo tells a very distinct story of their memories.

I wonder how many of us would really take out my photo album and looked at our childhood photos? I probably forgotten all the photos that I’ve taken in my life if not for my mother’s safe keeping.

My wife wasn’t that fortunate as her family wasn’t able to afford a camera then. She often regrets how sad it is that she was not able to share with me her part of growing up. She will always try her best to describe the place, the buildings and the rest is up to my imagination.

Maybe the whole montage idea of putting childhood photos is not because of showing your guest how you grow up.

I secretly believe that it is a remembrance of how you were brought up by your parents. You would not remember so much about your childhood more than them.

They were the ones whom watched you cry, watched you drink your first milk, and watched you take your first step.

The beginning of the montage symbolized how grateful you are that you are able to walk in with her bride into the ballroom. It is because of their timeless and sometimes forgotten efforts that make you who you are today.

I don’t know when I will have the time to look through my childhood photos again after my wedding.

I hope you look at your childhood photos more often.

Remember not how you grow but how you were brought up.

You will see a different light.

Law of Insanity

We often whine more than what we can imagine, be it about work, about school, about family or relationships. We will always rant about the same things over and over again without knowing the reason.

I remembered I was giving out the same old negative rant on my msn one fine day and this ‘friend’ of mine suddenly message me. Well she wasn’t really a ‘friend’ but someone whom I’ve added on my msn network without knowledge.

She asked if I’m unhappy about my current job.
I replied ‘yes’ instantly without giving a thought. You would have imagined how much unhappiness I was going through at that time.

The next question she asked was quite expected.
“So what you gonna do?”

I replied that I was looking for a new job in other companies.

“New job or new company?” she asked.

I told her probably a new company as I already have the experience for this current role.

“Aren’t you doing the same thing?” she replied.

“Yeah I’ll guess so, but I will be better off in my next job I suppose”

“Better off with?”

“Maybe higher pay, maybe higher post, maybe…”

“Life is so full of maybes huh?”

“Yeah, there’s nothing I can do”

“You can step out of the circle, how many jobs you hold including current?” she replied.

“This is my third job” I replied without shame on my job loyalty.

“What did you change from the first job to now?”

“Well… my pay is higher than my first two jobs.”

“I guess you didn’t read my question too well, I asked you what did you change from the first job. Not what did you get from the difference”

“I didn’t changed much, I only changed environment.”

“Why are you doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results?”
This was the question that shot me the deepest that day.

“Don’t you get the same feeling from your first job and your current?”

“Kinda… yeah” I replied after pausing for a long thought.

“So?” she was prompting a response from me.

“So… I don’t know what I’m going to do” I replied.

“Do something different, stop doing the same things over and over. You can change companies, you can change bosses but your job scope and responsibility will always be the same if you do the same kind of jobs.”

I didn’t replied but she continued shooting at me ruthlessly.

“Don’t rant about something which you fail to change. You are the first to blame if you are in this current situation. ”

I was pissed that a total stranger was giving me a lesson on life. Not pissed with her but myself for failing to see and understand about what she had said.

I was doing the same things for the last 7 years. Even though I changed two companies and my salary increased, there are elements that will never changed.

I used to believe that career advancement is all about putting in effort and continuously showing aggressiveness in your daily job to finish up all the tasks that is given to you.

I believe that if I work hard and meet all the expectations, all my hard work will pay off and I will move up the ladder very soon.

King of wishful thoughts.
There will always be situations that I have no control on and against me.

Although I tried to steer the ship towards other directions, I was not prepared to give up my current salary due to financial reasons.

I felt stuck in the mud hole and the feeling worsen everyday as you would have felt you are driven to work with a knife on your neck.



Two years had passed since that conversation and recently I just began doing some freelancing design jobs.

As I work on something different, I saw a different light.
The feeling of achievement is something that I’ve never felt in my career.
Perhaps this is the feeling of ‘change’ as I recalled the conversation once more.

I decided to change the way I do my job, I wasn’t as aggressive as I used to be and I tried to have ‘fun’ in what I’m I doing. Not practically ‘playing on my job’ but applied a lighter approach towards my career. No more setting unrealistic career objectives for myself but enjoy the moments of being in it everyday.

Not getting emotional for not able to get the best performance for that year. I’m proud of whatever result that is given to me, as having the job is already the best proof of your worth towards the company.

I still rant, no less but definitely on a lighter note altogether.

All thanks to a lady named Lisa and Albert Einstein for his quote.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”