Photo Memories

Recently I started out doing freelancing on wedding montage. I was kind to receive a few deals from the circle of friends I knew. Most probably as a fresh entry, my rate was one of the lowest you can find in Singapore.

The package that I’m offering is ridiculous. Yeah, if I would to do this full time I might as well go work in some fast-food joint serving burgers.

Anyway I met my first client not long ago.

Of all the clients that I had, they were probably the ones whom I was a complete stranger to.

The rest I will would know either one of them.

(Nope... to be technically true, I only know all the brides-to-be on my client list… how come???)

We had a short discussion about how the two of them met and how their love story begins. The bride-to-be eagerly presented her side of the story and the groom-to-be was there trying to correct or edit her story. Who says guys don’t remember anything in a relationship?

As I slowly sip my coffee and listen to them, you could see the looks on their face as they had a light hearted argument over what the guy did when he wanted to know her. It is great to think back the happier days.

When the story was finished, I requested them to pass me their childhood photos. I offered to scan for them since its part of the value-added services I provide.

I was quite surprised by both of them reaction as they each took out a large photo album that contains all the memories since young.

“Hey this is me when I’m young”

The bride-to-be exclaimed when she showed me one of her baby photos.

“Wah, I still remember this time when I had this camp”

The groom-to-be sounded like he was talking to himself.

All of us had a good laugh on how vintage the photos had become.

Some had turned brown and each photo tells a very distinct story of their memories.

I wonder how many of us would really take out my photo album and looked at our childhood photos? I probably forgotten all the photos that I’ve taken in my life if not for my mother’s safe keeping.

My wife wasn’t that fortunate as her family wasn’t able to afford a camera then. She often regrets how sad it is that she was not able to share with me her part of growing up. She will always try her best to describe the place, the buildings and the rest is up to my imagination.

Maybe the whole montage idea of putting childhood photos is not because of showing your guest how you grow up.

I secretly believe that it is a remembrance of how you were brought up by your parents. You would not remember so much about your childhood more than them.

They were the ones whom watched you cry, watched you drink your first milk, and watched you take your first step.

The beginning of the montage symbolized how grateful you are that you are able to walk in with her bride into the ballroom. It is because of their timeless and sometimes forgotten efforts that make you who you are today.

I don’t know when I will have the time to look through my childhood photos again after my wedding.

I hope you look at your childhood photos more often.

Remember not how you grow but how you were brought up.

You will see a different light.

Law of Insanity

We often whine more than what we can imagine, be it about work, about school, about family or relationships. We will always rant about the same things over and over again without knowing the reason.

I remembered I was giving out the same old negative rant on my msn one fine day and this ‘friend’ of mine suddenly message me. Well she wasn’t really a ‘friend’ but someone whom I’ve added on my msn network without knowledge.

She asked if I’m unhappy about my current job.
I replied ‘yes’ instantly without giving a thought. You would have imagined how much unhappiness I was going through at that time.

The next question she asked was quite expected.
“So what you gonna do?”

I replied that I was looking for a new job in other companies.

“New job or new company?” she asked.

I told her probably a new company as I already have the experience for this current role.

“Aren’t you doing the same thing?” she replied.

“Yeah I’ll guess so, but I will be better off in my next job I suppose”

“Better off with?”

“Maybe higher pay, maybe higher post, maybe…”

“Life is so full of maybes huh?”

“Yeah, there’s nothing I can do”

“You can step out of the circle, how many jobs you hold including current?” she replied.

“This is my third job” I replied without shame on my job loyalty.

“What did you change from the first job to now?”

“Well… my pay is higher than my first two jobs.”

“I guess you didn’t read my question too well, I asked you what did you change from the first job. Not what did you get from the difference”

“I didn’t changed much, I only changed environment.”

“Why are you doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results?”
This was the question that shot me the deepest that day.

“Don’t you get the same feeling from your first job and your current?”

“Kinda… yeah” I replied after pausing for a long thought.

“So?” she was prompting a response from me.

“So… I don’t know what I’m going to do” I replied.

“Do something different, stop doing the same things over and over. You can change companies, you can change bosses but your job scope and responsibility will always be the same if you do the same kind of jobs.”

I didn’t replied but she continued shooting at me ruthlessly.

“Don’t rant about something which you fail to change. You are the first to blame if you are in this current situation. ”

I was pissed that a total stranger was giving me a lesson on life. Not pissed with her but myself for failing to see and understand about what she had said.

I was doing the same things for the last 7 years. Even though I changed two companies and my salary increased, there are elements that will never changed.

I used to believe that career advancement is all about putting in effort and continuously showing aggressiveness in your daily job to finish up all the tasks that is given to you.

I believe that if I work hard and meet all the expectations, all my hard work will pay off and I will move up the ladder very soon.

King of wishful thoughts.
There will always be situations that I have no control on and against me.

Although I tried to steer the ship towards other directions, I was not prepared to give up my current salary due to financial reasons.

I felt stuck in the mud hole and the feeling worsen everyday as you would have felt you are driven to work with a knife on your neck.



Two years had passed since that conversation and recently I just began doing some freelancing design jobs.

As I work on something different, I saw a different light.
The feeling of achievement is something that I’ve never felt in my career.
Perhaps this is the feeling of ‘change’ as I recalled the conversation once more.

I decided to change the way I do my job, I wasn’t as aggressive as I used to be and I tried to have ‘fun’ in what I’m I doing. Not practically ‘playing on my job’ but applied a lighter approach towards my career. No more setting unrealistic career objectives for myself but enjoy the moments of being in it everyday.

Not getting emotional for not able to get the best performance for that year. I’m proud of whatever result that is given to me, as having the job is already the best proof of your worth towards the company.

I still rant, no less but definitely on a lighter note altogether.

All thanks to a lady named Lisa and Albert Einstein for his quote.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Probably The Writer with the Lousiest English in Singapore who is trying to publish his book

On 27^th May 2007,

I posted the first chapter on a story I wrote on my blog and threads in some forums.

There were quite a few good reviews from the forum as well as the readers that came to my blog. A few of them tagged on my tag board and said many good comments about my good writing skills.

5 months later, I had completed 3 love stories with the longest of them close to over 50,000 words. There were more readers and ‘supporters’ as they tried to add me through msn.

We chatted over the story plots and the main characters build up.

“Hey Anntonii, I think you are a great writer!”

“Have you considered publishing your stories on a book?”

I was asked a few times when by those who’ve read my work.

“Wow, surely that must be a wonderful feeling to have a book with has my name on it”

That was really my first thought as I to lay my first bricks on my sandcastle.

“I wonder will I become a celebrity because of my stories.”

Second thought and I laid my second brick.

All these good comments beamed self confidence as I began to seek more opinion on the web.

I post my work on more platforms and of different level of readers.

Reality sink in as rational comments was put up on the various threads that I’ve posted.

“I think your English is really bad! I felt terrible and had to stop instantly”

“Did you realize that your grammar and English sentence structure is somewhat funny?”

“Oh my god… did you failed your English in school?”

You would have imagined how it felt.

It’s like a person with self confidence with thoughts of ascending to heavens being brought to the depths of hell, Ditto many times.

I flipped through my secondary school report card one day and realized that person was right; I did fail my English in school. To top it all, I only barely passed my English for the final exams before I left school.

I surf the web to look at writer forums and society and looked at the way they expressed themselves. Really remarkable, there are many words and phrases I’ve never seen before let alone knowing what they mean all together.

My confidence was crushed and diminished through the thin air.

My hopes of becoming a writer were certainly never going to happen.

It took me a long time to write my current story and so many times I had to stop writing due to the negative thoughts within me.

Humans are generally looked at the things on the surface.

When someone with a lousy command of language tries to write a story, it’s as if oversized women trying her luck at ballet.

“If you don’t have the quality, don’t even try to reach for something beyond your means”

That’s what the old folks would advise.

If anyone asked me about writing and publishing a book ten years ago, I would probably laugh at them and myself.

But now, I would still want to print my own book.

It’s a form of commemorate my ability to finish writing a story.

Not to print a huge quantity but just a couple hundreds of books.

So that I can tell people I was once a writer, I had some genuine supporters who really tear and shared their beliefs in my story.

So that I can tell people who failed their language, it’s not really the end. If you have a good story base and plot, you too can become a writer.

There will always be people who appreciate your work and people who don’t.

You just need to find them…

Wedding Montage Services

Recently I had a coffee session with a friend. We were talking how busy we had become and were trying to update each other on the work that we are currently doing.

“I’m actually doing wedding montage services now…” I began.

“You know those slideshows that’s screen before the wedding couple’s first entrance?”

I have to explain further to ensure he knows what I’m talking.

He gave me a stunned look.

“You are married right? You don’t know what it is?”

I was rather surprised by his look.

In my heart I was expecting to see his response as

“wah.. this kinda of services got anyone will find?”

“No lah, you should have told me earlier man!”

“How come?”

I was taken aback by his response.

“You know, my wife and I had a hard time trying to do our wedding montage during the dinner. We don’t know much about the software and don’t know what we want to show our guest”

I was nodding my head in his agreement.

“If I know you are doing this, I would have engaged your services!”

“Actually I don’t quite understand that there will be a demand for montage services you know”

I told him.

“Why not?”

“I mean, who would spend a couple hundred of dollars for the less than 10 minutes kind of outcome? Furthermore couples usually will want to do the montage themselves, or the groom would have to do it for his wife. ”

“Anntonii, you just went through your wedding right?”

My friend asked which I nodded.

“You know how busy it is to plan a wedding? Especially the last 3months before the actual day? Who will have the time to sit in front of his/her computer and do something that takes a long time?”

“But there is easier software to use mah. PowerPoint, Photostory, windows movie maker.”

“Easier software will result to lousier outcome mah… Imagine people already spend $1000 per table in a grand ballroom but when the montage comes out, it’s lousy and crap. A lot of people will surely say a lot bad reviews behind their back.”

“You as a Montage designer, what’s your take on a wedding montage?”

I paused to think for a while.

“A Wedding Montage is like a short story, something to tell the guest about how the couple met and get together. It is not just a collection of photographs but also a flow of storytelling because most of the guest will only know either the bride or the groom.”

“So that’s not important?”

He asked me back.

“Nope. It is important… it is something which bring out the wedding couple. That’s why I learned the software to do for my wedding as early as 9 months before. It was really a lot of hard work though. ”

“There you go, I tell you.. there will be people who will appreciate your work”

“Yeah… maybe there are”

I told my friend that even my own brother commented my work after he returned from a few weddings.

“People already spending a few thousand dollars on other stuffs… why would they think two three hundred dollars is a big deal?”

I agreed with what he said.

“Bro, how much you quoting people?”

My friend was curious.

“$188 - $238, if you got any friends who are interested can refer them to my website.”

I replied.

“Aiyoh, so cheap. Are you crazy or what? “

He laughed.

“I’m new and want to be competitive in the market, so have to develop an ‘Entry Price’ loh”

I replied confidently about my market knowledge.

“But I think you earning more for your full time job leh… you know how much effort you have to put in for every montage?”

I nodded.

“Bro, you and I are married. We know a lot of couples are very tight in their budget for their wedding. There are a lot of monies being spent of every single item and maybe that’s the reason why I don’t really want to raise my price”

“Besides I’m still a newbie in this line. Who am I to command $300 or even $400?”

I continued.

“Ok, just make sure you are happy doing it. It’s all that matters.”

He advised after sipping coffee.

“Yeah… perhaps until the day when I’m not happy”

Starting up is always difficult.

There will be a lot of self doubt and obstacles waiting to trip you.

You will do a lot of cold calling to strangers whom you don’t know to tell them about you.

You will experience a lot of people rejecting your services.

You will fall when people tell you that you aren’t good enough for them.

You will spend so much effort to improve yourself so that you will deliver a better service for them.

You will even come to a point to realize that you are really not fit for this business.

Successful business men always tell you that money isn’t everything in a business, interest is.

If there’s a love story waiting to be told…

I will show them how it’s done in 10mins.